If you have a victim mentality, it blocks healing. I’m sure I will catch some grief for this, but I feel people need to understand that while you may not have control over what happens to you, you do not need to become a victim to it. Here’s three examples:
- Identifying with a condition/illness. The words “I am” are very powerful. So when you say: “I am” an alcoholic, or “I am” a diabetic, you are programming your subconscious to believe that is who you are. You are not your condition or illness. You may be experiencing symptoms, but that is not “who” you are.
- It gets even deeper when you identify as a “victim of” something that happened to you. The last thing you want to identify with is being a victim. Just because you experienced something traumatic, you DO NOT need to identify as a “victim” of it, because your subconscious will start to believe it, and it will become more and more challenging to move forward.
So often we join groups of people with the same conditions, or have gone through the same traumatic experiences. We go because we feel the need for sympathy and/or acceptance, because who better to understand us than people who share that in common…hence the misery loves company saying.
Unfortunately, this can also reinforce and validate our status as a victim. When we believe that we are powerless, we lose the ability to accept or change our situation. We trap emotions such as grief, despair, failure, hopelessness, resentment, frustration and others.
- Fear of being healed. Some of us have been suffering for so long that we can’t imagine being whole again. We become uncomfortably “comfortable” in our suffering, so we stop looking for a way out. This is the deepest level of victimhood, and the hardest to release. We stop trying to find a solution and eventually just give up.
So, now I am going to get personal. I am not just touting empty words I read in a book somewhere.
I have experienced medical diagnosis, trauma, and both mental and physical abuse in my life. I identified as a victim for quite a long time, without even realizing that is what I was doing! So, once I became aware, I went through some denial, because hey, why would I want to take any responsibility for what has happened to me?
Fortunately, I finally got it through my thick skull, that I didn’t need to stay stuck in that mindset just because things “happened” to me. So, I chose the path forward, the path that would allow me to start healing for real. It’s hasn’t been easy sometimes, but releasing that victim mentality mindset was definitely worth it! I don’t even have the words to describe how good it feels to take your power back!
So, if you are truly ready to move forward, or are going through the process but need some help, I am here to help you on your healing journey.